all because of me

well,
we have four close friends.....
but maybe that's what i think..... 
we use to call ourselves the J power of 4 group....
or maybe it's just me...
i used to think that we were a special group...
and we were a group of 4...
not until yesterday...
there was a girl who used to be in our group....
but we kinda had a big fight and broken into 2 groups..
us and them 3...
well the think is that,
Big J went to thailand and brought back some gifts....
She gave the girl a customized key chain...
and us 3J have to wait for about 3 days to get our present.
and guess what we got for our present...
key chains with only 2 patterns to choose...
and one pattern has the letter D on it.....
then after we chose our 'present'..
she passed the bag to the kids behind...
and let them pick.....

i was thinking,
so i am like them...
i am nothing different than those usual kids who you don't talk to....
i'm a nothing...
well...
i went to a few countries and I specially picked gifts for us....
and you just bought a bag of key chains from the road side and give us?
well then...
i get it...
i'm nothing to you....

i will not take it personally...
but i will know how you truly feel towards me....

Geez...Gimme a break

i need a place where i can just scream all i want!!!!
there's just too much inside me...

i'm feeling the pain that few would understand..
but if you do, help me.
i don't think i could hold it anymore....
i've read through a site about signs people show when they are bout to commit suicide....
and i hit most of them......
i'm starting to give away my precious earthly possession...
my ring, my presents, and my very expensive pen....
and i'm starting to say that if i'm gone my friends would not miss me...
and i'm going to meet my parents and my dead relatives.
my boyfriend has also left me.....
so i think it would be better if i'm gone......

Blah blah blah

Everyone has their own fucking problem....
Why do you come and bother me with your problem?
And when I go to you, you said I'm fucking annoying.

It's like you can have a problem,
But when I have it, it's like I'm the troublemaker!
I can be a real troublemaker, I don't think you wanna see that part.

Just walk and see....
I assure you, that's not the last of me....