Ambitious little fucker

Never thought that someone like me would be interested in pursuing a higher degree.
I always thought that I'll just get a job after uni and be done with studies.
Well I also thought that I would finally those popular girl.
Guess too much American High School movie has instilled some unrealistic thoughts in me.
So here I am, on the path to pursuing a PhD.
I was quite ambitious when I got in to uni.
Didn't know what sparked me or what motivated me to do it but well here I am.
Procrastinating yet another assignment which I am suppose to work on.
I don't know if it is just me, or this journey to PhD is giving me a hard time.
but I feel like I'm having mental and emotional breakdowns more frequently now a days.
Although I am interested in doing a PhD but I also want an easy life.
I thought I could just sail through Uni because I'm studying what I like.
but as it turns out, it is not because of the subjects that's why I don't like studying.
actually, I do like studying but for fun. If there were no exams and the lecturers were good and I can choose my own class timing, I bet I'd enjoy uni or studying even more.
After spending what seems like an eternity in uni (which was about 5 years and counting)
I feel bitter when I see freshman coming to visit the Uni.
I automatically smirk at how the freshmen are beaming with curiosity, nervousness and the eagerness to start uni life.
Look at their faces and attitude, what naive and innocent little shitheads.
just wait till you are at the 3rd week of uni. then all that changes.
You'll start to see the true colors of the lecturer and your friends.
you'll realise that you actually have no friends
you'll also realise what a bunch of fucktards you will end up with for group projects.
I kid you not, you will suddenly feel that there are so many idiots in the world
you might even feel how the fuck did these idiots manage to enter the same uni as you did.
well I am not a very studious kid but I did work hard to try to get into this uni.
So naturally I start to wonder how all this lazy and stupid mofos are able to be in this class with me?
but either way. the point of this post is to rant about how uni life will literally suck the life out of you.
during semester you will have experienced all mental disorders from being depressed to having panic attack to psychotic episode and the most common of all -- the experience of virtual drowning.
It's like you have to abandon ship because the ship is either on fire or sinking and there are no life boats available (because some other fuckers took it) so you are thinking to yourself well I know how to swim so I'm gonna jump. And you jump so you ended up in the water and now you are just trying to keep calm while doing anything you can to keep you afloat and conserve some energy because you don't know how long you are gonna be stuck in the water. Few days have past and you are tired, hungry and sleepy. So that's how you are gonna feel for the rest of your uni life.
Not saying that everyone will go experience this but if you fortunate enough to have avoided all this or you are one of those freaks who like torturing yourself then all the best for your uni life.